Monday, 17 October 2011

The British Are Coming!

As I type this, fair and gentle reader, I am updating my ipod with enough music to see me through several hours over international waters. 

FOR WE AM GOING TO AMERICALAND.

Yes presently I shall be forced awake at four in the morning to catch a plane that will deposit us the wrong side of the pond, the bit where the goldfish go to die, and will be travelling round the desert in a camper van!  My expression this moment, I kid you not is joyous.  I can strike Vegas off my bucketlist.

But really, this is going to be a fantastic trip.  We'll be climbing up to Silica Dome where Captain Kirk died/is buried, visiting the Hoover Dam which took the lives of a hundred of its workers, watching vampire women take their clothes off, and watching snow fall in the desert.  Basically a goth's wet dream, and there's chocolate pizza too!

Adios diet plan!


Wednesday, 5 October 2011

Vertigo And Three Eyed Angel Babies

When you have an attack of vertigo, it is horrible.  You feel like you have to hold on to the floor so that the world doesn't tip you off into space, much like a drunkard, except without the comfort of a tall cold glass of cider.  And the slightest turn of the head sets the room revolving again, round and round and round, making the nausea rise in your dry mouth, which is horrid because you needed some water and sat up to get some which set the bastard off in the first place.

Currently, just a slight feeling of dizziness at times persists, so that is all well and good.

Now lets get to the three-eyed angel babies.

Three-eyed angel babies I hear you ask?  Yes I reply, three-eyed angel babies, because I had a dream that I can probably quite confidantly say has been one of the most balls trippingly weird dreams I've had in a while, and I can't for the life of me decipher it.

You see, archangels have come down on a divine mission from above, to find human women to procreate with.  But these women, once inseminated with winged sperm, give birth to three-eyed angel babies.  And not three eyes as you would expect, ie, two in the normal position and one in the forehead, all looking quite the same, but three eyes as in two fairly normal ones and one right between the eyebrows, bulbous and bloody and without eyelids, sometimes with a bit of stringy flesh down the middle bisecting it.  Sometimes the eye is normal, but its where the bridge of the nose is.  And the archangels say that these are just the first and second genesis, that the third and fourth genesis will be better, and then I started calling them arch angelics and THEN I woke up and the room was spinning.

A kiss to anyone with any clue as to what the psychedelic fuck my mind is trying to tell me.